Friday, February 5

February 4, 2010: Much needed closure and taking things slow

I woke up to another dreary morning of rain. It's been raining non-stop for the last four days, but it seems like the sun hasn't been out in ages. I'm starting to feel the effects.

With all the dreariness a much needed stop to Starbucks helped jump start my day. Work was uneventful, and went by slowly. I had lunch with my old roommate/X. Caught up on life, said what we needed to say, and parted on very good terms. I've decided that this whole moving to a new city thing is pretty great when it comes to getting closure that you've needed. I've been able to say all the things that I've wanted to say for the last six years, and don't have to feel bad about it anymore. It's nice to tell people how much they mean to you, and now much you want the best for them. It's even nicer when they open up and tell you how much you've meant to them as well.

So, after work, met Alex for sushi happy hour. Delicious as usual, and likely our last time to hang out and just chat for a long time. She's been such a great friend to me over the last four years. She's the friend that will always give it to you straight. She's genuine to a fault, giving, upbeat, beautiful, funny, and loads of fun. She's always the person to call when you want to laugh and have fun. I am so happy that she and James are starting their life together as husband and wife this year. It's really special when you are friends with the bride & the groom. It's something I haven't gotten to experience much. Most of time you are friends with one half of a couple and become friends with the other by default. Not the case with A&J. They are both my friends and I can call either of them to hang out, laugh, or just to chill. They compliment each other so well, and inspire me to never give up on love.

After dinner, I headed to my last church choir rehearsal. Everyone there is pretty sad about my departure. I love singing with them, and I'm sad to leave, but I know I'll find a good group soon enough in my new city.

After what seemed like the longest day, I finally made it home. Paul called to catch up, and we chatted until I nearly fell asleep. Just as I was nodding off, Pete called. Pete is a guy who I've known since high school. We weren't really friends then, but we went to school and church together and have always been casual acquaintances. We reconnected through the wonderous world of Facebook, after he offered to help me move last fall. We went on a few dates, but Pete got cold feet. I decided it was best to just let him be, and after a few weeks, he started calling again. Last night he told me he was "sorry for his freak out in December." I guess that was his way of apologizing. Needless to say I'm taking things slow with him. I'm not sure if I really want to date him or not. I need more time to talk to him to determine if I think he's really serious about me, or if I'm just someone that keeps him from being bored. I'm just proud of myself for not jumping in with both feet and being happy about taking it slow. It's a whole new outlook on dating, and one that I'm very happy with.

After two late phone calls, I fell asleep on the couch while listening to a great concert special on PBS featuring Patty Griffin, Emmylou Harris, Shawn Colvin, and Buddy Miller. What a way to slip into peaceful dreams.

~ Miss L.A.

Thursday, February 4

February 3, 2010: Blast from the past

Today continued on at work like yesterday. More indexing, merging, filing, and mind numbing. It's been raining here for the last two days, so it's tiring weather anyway. I had to bust out my iPod today just to stay awake. I'm not very caffeine dependent anymore, so it was bad when a cup of coffee and a Diet Coke didn't help. I had an interesting Facebook dialogue with my girlfriends about all of our current or past addictions to Diet Coke. I'm fortunately kicked my habit, but I still crave an icy can at least once a week. Many of them are still in full swing with their three of four DCs a day. It's been good for my wallet to wean myself off.

After surviving the day at work and safely navigating through the flooded roads, including an emergency shoe stop to purchase of some fab Tahari pumps, I made it home. I sank into the couch, ate my Chinese take out, and watched some crime dramas (my fave) and some college basketball. And then that's when the past came out of the blue and knocked on my door.

I had a hard time deciding if I would blog about this, as I'm not sure that I want everyone to know about certain aspects of my life, but I decided that I made a commitment to write about the significant events in my life that affect my year, and this definitely fits. It all started when I sent out a blanket message to let everyone know that I was leaving on the 12th to move, and I wanted to try to see all my friends to say goodbye. I included a few ex-boyfriends that I still consider friends on this message. I didn't expect any of them to reply, but I thought it was a nice courtesy to let them know.

So, one of them texted me back tonight to get the scoop on my impending move. He asked where I was staying, and wanted to know if he could stop by and see me. I think this guy is fantastic. Not fantastic for me, but just a good person. He's smart, he's handsome, he's funny, but he can't commit. He likes to rotate his girlfriends. He'll break up with one, and go back to the other, then switch. I'm not part of this equation, although I do occasionally see him since he has stayed friends with our mutual friends. So, X stops by and we chat. Things seem good. He's actually achieving all the goals he set for himself, and seems happy. And then it happened. We kissed. And it all just flowed from there. And I know that I'll never date this guy again, but we have a special connection from the unique situation we went through together. And as we layed there and talked and he ran his fingers through my hair and kissed the top of my forehead, I felt content and safe for the first time in so long. He asked me what was going through my head. I was honest with him. I told him that my last boyfriend had really hurt me and that I just couldn't let anyone else in. He asked why I let him in then. Simple, I've let him in before, and I trust him. I know that this surface stuff can't hurt me. It's when real love, emotions, and my heart get involved. I've already given this man a piece of my heart that I'll never get back. I'll always care about him, but I know that he can come over, kiss me, hold me, and walk away and it won't break me. Maybe that's not an emotionally healthy decision, but at this point, I needed to feel close to someone. I needed someone to hold me, and talk to me, and care about me. I needed to open my heart up just the tiniest bit so I could know that I was capable of that simple act again.

So, no matter what my friends might say, I'm glad I let him come over. If for anything, it will help me with closure when I leave next week. I think we both said things we needed to say for a long time. And we now both know that no matter what, we're both there for each other.

Good night,

Miss L.A.

February 2, 2010: Monotony abounds

Tuesday. Normally new music Tuesday, but with the state I've been in lately, I'll have to catch up next week.

I went back to the office today, and by now the news is out that I've resigned. I've had mixed reactions. Some people have come up to me and seemed genuinely sad, others haven't even mentioned it. We're going to do a lunch next week, and possibly a happy hour. I'll miss a few people at my office. Namely my direct supervisor, Maria, who tells me all about her huge Hispanic family, and speaks TexMex when she gets excited. The two other marketing gals, Jo and Angel. They are awesome. Jo is close to my age, married and lives in a small town. She and I share a love for shopping and country music. Angel is about the same age as my mom and is hands down the sweetest lady ever. She prays for me, cooks for me, and brings a smile to my face everyday. She is everyone's ideal coworker. She faces some of life's hardest trials with a constant smile. Her husband has late stage Multiple Sclerosis, and is bedridden. They both are the happiest people I know. John, her husband, will call the office, and is always overjoyed to talk to me. I bake for him, and he calls and just oohs and ahhs over the treats.

So, with the good people I've gotten to know at work, it will be bittersweet to leave. Even with all the horrid communication, the gossip, the behind the back business deals, I will still miss my office. I'll leave with a great new set of skills and a new appreciation for my next job.

Unfortunately because I'm leaving, I am working on one mind numbing project after another. My day was filled with indexing and merging duplicate files. All 1600 of them. This will take days to complete, but at least when I'm done, I won't have to ever look at these files again. That alone brings a smile to my face.

'Til tomorrow,

Miss L.A.

Tuesday, February 2

February 1, 2010: Transition begins

Monday. I got up, cleaned the house from top to bottom, and cleaned out the fridge. I was quite tired after all that work, and a weekend of packing and moving. I got a hot shower in and headed over to level out the ratio of food to beer at James' house. I ended up staying there for the rest of the day, and Alex came over to hang out as well. We spent a majority of the afternoon scheming good ideas for her wedding, and drinking apple wine. (Brewed by James and DELICIOUS.)

In the evening, some of the our posse headed over to chill while James brewed another batch of beer, and we all huddled around the brew pot to keep warm. We laughed, drank, and discussed the endless possibilities my life might take in just a few short weeks. I sat back and realized how blessed I've been the last six years to have friends like these. Friends that will sacrifice convenience and their homes just to make sure I have a place to stay. I'll miss them more than they know.

Time to get some rest.

Until next time,

Miss L.A.

January 31, 2010: Moving out and moving on

Sunday. I drove back from Ally's house Sunday morning. I had to leave Molly behind, and it was bittersweet. I love my pup so much. She's my best friend, and constant companion. Knowing that I'll be spending two weeks away from her breaks my heart.

I got back to my house and started packing again. It was brutally cold, and after a solid effort, I made it over to James' house to unload my stuff. I'll be staying in the ultimate bachelor pad for the next two weeks, and it's going to be a good change of pace for me. Imagine a 50'' HD flat screen, PS3, Wii, Netflix on Demand, an iMac, recording equipment, a kegerator complete with 4 taps, and surround sound to top it all off. Oh, and the fridge has a 75/25 ratio of beer to food. And I'd say that quite a large sum of the food is actually condiments.

After I got settled in, I went back into town to eat dinner at L&G's house. My favorite Sunday night restaurant. We had spinach lasagna and caesar salad. Delicious. After a satisfying meal, I headed back to my place for one last night's sleep there.

Good night,

Miss L.A.

January 30, 2010: One chaotic weekend

I first must apologize for being a little behind with my posts for the weekend. I've been moving and driving all over the place, and just haven't had a chance to write. My internet went down Saturday, so I'm just getting around to the last two days of posts.

So, Saturday I got up early and began packing, AGAIN. I feel like I've packed and moved more boxes in the last three months than just about any other time in my life. That's saying a lot since I've moved something like nineteen times in my life. I moved out of my fabulous house at the end of October of last year. I packed, sold, and stored all eleven hundred square feet of my belongings. All my worldly possesions now reside in a 16x8 foot box. When I finally get to my new city, get a job and a place to live, this box will be delivered to me so I can settle into my new home. You would think that after storing so many things that I wouldn't have much left. Unfortunately I filled up my little four-door sedan on two separate trips. I'm starting to think that I wish I could just sell everything I own and start over.

After a day of packing, Walmart shopping, and throwing things out, I drove up to see my best friend Ally and store some things in her garage. I also dropped off my most prized possession, my dog Molly, to stay with her for the week while I stayed at my James' house. He has three cats and I'm pretty sure Molly would lose an eye if she stayed there. She may only weigh seven pounds, but she thinks she can beat up a twenty pound cat anyday. :)

While I was visiting Ally, we went to see a great movie, Crazy Heart. You should seriously consider the soundtrack (Crazy Heart: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack). The acting was incredible. I loved every minute of it. If you are a music lover, run, don't walk to see this film. T Bone Burnett wrote the music, and it's some of the best country music that I've heard in a long time. I can't wait to see if they win for Best Original song at the Oscars.

After a long day, it was good to fall into bed and finally be able to get a full night's sleep. I could breathe well enough to sleep through the whole night. A first for the week.

Ciao for now,

Miss L.A.