Friday, January 15

January 15th, 2010

I'm SO glad it's Friday! Man, these last two weeks have been a little rough. I went in to work today to prep for our offsite meeting that started around noon. Got all I needed to accomplish at the office, then trudged across town in the torrential downpour to make it to the meeting. All twenty marketing packages complete, powerpoint presentation on the flash drive, and all handouts ready to go. A week and a half preparing for this meeting and was so glad that it was almost over.

And when I arrive I wait outside for half an hour because the first session ran over. And one of the officers of our company comes out and tells me that they will be scrapping the entire second half of the meeting. All my work for nothing. And after I finish my lunch, they have the audacity to tell me to go back to the office on the opposite side of town. When the rest of the staff that had driven over as well asked about this they were told they could go home. So I asked my boss if I too could have the day off, and he wanted to know if I could go in to make ONE phone call to schedule an appointment for him in mid-February. Um, seriously? So, I made the executive decision that said phone call could wait 'til Monday and that I'd be heading home. Countless hours of overtime, missed lunches, and trips acorss town later and they still weren't satisfied. All this after they told me that they were eliminating my job. I'm all for loyalty, but that just about pushed me over the edge.

And so I came home and enjoyed a relaxing afternoon at my house, enjoying the rain and time with my dog. I hope that the rest of my weekend shapes up to be as good as this afternoon. Good night!

January 14th, 2010

I woke up this morning and just felt "off". And then it hit me. It had been a year ago that I had to do the unthinkable. A year since my family had been shattered. A year since he left us in a tragic, horrible ending. And my heart broke all over again for my sister, and my nephews, and his family. There was an accident, and then the ICU, and doctor's reports, and tears, and machines, and hugs, and pictures, and stories, and then he was gone. And I had to tell my nephews that he was never coming back. And it broke my heart into so many pieces that I'm sure I won't ever get some of them back. And I had to be strong for her. I couldn't break down, because she needed me to hold her up. And I sang to honor him, even though the song nearly broke me right there. And sometimes I wonder what would have happened had he still been here, but I realize that he touched all of our lives in the way he was meant to.

And even after remembering all that pain, I pushed through the day. It was hectic, and emotionally draining, and I was worried about my aunt all day as she began chemo treatments to poison her body to kill the cancer that's been trying to eat away at her. It was hard to complete the tasks at work knowing that I am going to leave this place soon. How can you put your all into a place that doesn't have a place for you anymore? I guess that's why layoffs are a sudden thing. Once you know you're leaving, it's hard to care anymore.

Here I am trying to care, trying to work hard, and help everyone succeed. But I'm trying to decide where I'm headed, and what and where I really want to be. This road may be a long one. Let's just hope that it can only improve from here.

Wednesday, January 13

January 13th, 2010: Time to move on

So work seemed to go on as usual, until my boss called me in this afternoon. She informed me that because both of people that I had done marketing for in the past had quit, they would be transitioning my position out to lesser duties. They are essentially making me a receptionist at work with "other duties" and are giving me time to look for another job. They are very aware that I'm overqualified and too easily bored to answer the phone all day. And so, my job search continues. And I had a bit of a meltdown about this evening. I decided that after being laid off from a job in 2007, that 3 years seems to be too soon to have gone through 2 more jobs. It just seems like I should have accomplished more by now. I should be singing more, be married, be in a long term career. I don't own a house, I can barely scrape by, and I don't have a job that I'm passionate about. This is one of the many reasons I chose to write this blog. I want some of those things. I want passion. I want to have something to show for all my hard work. I don't want to be broke anymore. Poor maybe, but not broke. So I'm hoping that this wild goose chase that I'm on leads me to a great place. I can't handle another meltdown like tonight. I don't own stock in Kleenex, but maybe I should rethink that. I've gone through so many boxes in the last year that I likely kept them in business in my city :) So, no more tears. Happy thoughts from now on. And be ready and willing to accept help that is offered to me. It might not be offerred more than once.

January 12, 2010

Another blah day at the office. I did get to venture into the catering world for a while, but once again the powers that be wanted the standard fare, so all my creative efforts were foiled. I'm also continuing to drudge through marketing packets for everyone in the firm. Let's hope they actually use all the information I'm collecting and don't just trash it.

Work flew by and I ran home to fix my hair and makeup to make it to the game. Once I was sufficiently thrown on my ghastly dress, I made it to the the stadium. Our choir wears the most hideous uniforms. Imagine a black floor-length polyester dress with gathered pouf shoulders, complete with shoulder pads. Throw in an elastic waist and wrists, and a cowl neck to boot. It's a fashion abomination. Thankfully from far away they just look like a black blob.

Once inside I was forced to stand for 90 minutes in my heels on the concrete floor while we completed a sound check and went through the entrance and exit plans. After a long day at work, my heels began to hurt. By the end of the night, my feet were screaming from pain.

The performance went splendidly, and it was very fun to be standing next to some NBA superstars. (One of them just wed a socialite in a hasty courtship. She wasn't in attendance, unfortunately.) I enjoyed the remainder of the game, and sat next to a handsome frenchman. He has duel citizenship, and had a sexy accent. He spoke of his love of soccer, and french food. He's an auditor for the state, and at the end of the night gave me his card. We'll see if I decide to call him the next time I'm in our state capital.

Ended the night by falling into bed and setting a record on how quickly I could crash. There would be no pondering of what tomorrow might hold.

Tuesday, January 12

January 11, 2010

Ugh, back to work again. I'm at least free of some of the duties that I had before my job so drastically changed. I hated some of the monotonous tasks that I had to do, and now I have a little more creativity in my daily work chores. We'll see how long that lasts before they 'redefine' my work duties as they've been planning to do.

The morning flew by, and I left work early to grab Rick and take him to the airport. We said our goodbyes, and I went to get my haircut by my friend, and all around fabulous hair dresser, who I'll call HD. We chatted, and laughed, and he of course made me look and feel fabulous. He's such a doll, and I don't care if I ever move away, I'll likely drive or fly so he can do my hair. He's THAT good.

After my haircut I drove over for my choir rehearsal since we've got a big performance on Tuesday. I'm a member of the symphony chorus in my city, and it's been an amazing experience the last 5 years. We've sung amazing classical works, and performed with some extremely famous and talented individuals. We've even performed at Carnegie Hall. Tomorrow we're performing the National Anthem at an NBA game. There will be around 20-25 of us, and we're singing a four part harmony acapella version. We really nailed it at rehearsal and I'm really looking forward to it. After a late night of rehearsing, I headed home to get some sleep. I'm excited for tomorrow and seeing a great game of basketball after our performance. It's already a great week!

January 10th, 2010

Rick and I got up this morning and went to breakfast. He wanted me to show him around the city, so I drove him to all the famous landmarks in the city and showed off some of the great architecture in the neighborhoods. I was impressed with how well I could get around. I guess after six years of living in the same place, I'm pretty good at navigating the back roads.

After the drive we decided to go catch another movie. We saw Youth in Revolt. Wasn't sure if I was going to like it, but it was a really intelligent film, and quite funny. I laughed out loud at some of the lines, and was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't a film full of 'stupid' humor.

After the movie we came home to relax for a bit. Rick showed me some of the pictures from his deployment overseas and we both took a cat nap.

Sunday evening we headed over to Alex and James house to watch James brew some beer. He built a kegerator out of a deep freeze and cut and stained wood mounting to the sides. He attached vintage keg taps and turned this freezer into a work of art. I was very impressed with all the work that he'd put into it. The beer was very tasty, and we had a great time chatting and hanging out. Alex and James recently got engaged, and are two of my dearest friends. I'm very excited for them. They are so in love, and over the four years of our friendship, I've seen their love grow for each other. They have the kind of relationship that I hope to have one day. I know their wedding will prove to be one of the highlights of the year.

After a wonderful night of beer, apple wine, and good conversation, Rick and I headed back home so I could get a good night's sleep to start my week. I'm sad that he must leave tomorrow, but I'm glad we finally got to catch up after all these years.

Sunday, January 10

January 9th, 2010

Saturday was a great day. Began with introducing Rick to a local hole in the wall for breakfast, then quick trip into Walmart to grab some gear for our sports' event for the evening. We then headed to see Avatar. It was clearly a popular choice as we had to sit on the front row for the movie. It was definitely an anti-war, green statement film. I really enjoyed the special effects and the music, and overall it was a great movie. I'd like to go see it again in 3-D, but I'll be sitting in the back to enjoy it next time. It was so graphic that sitting up close made me dizzy.

After the movie we headed over to L&G (Lauren & Gene)'s house. They are some of my closest friends. I was in their wedding a few years back, and they are always so sweet to have me over for dinner a few times every month. We piled in the car and headed to the sports' bar to watch the NFL playoffs. My other dear friend Alex met us at the bar. Lauren, Alex and I chatted about Alex's upcoming wedding and we drank and had a good time while Rick and Gene discussed the war in Iraq and Rick's recent deployment. Our team won, so most left in high spirits. We headed home and were in bed again by midnight.

The best part of getting a little older is that I can go out, have a good time, get a good night's sleep and wake up hangover free. Here's to a great Sunday!

January 8th: Old friends are the best

Well after writing a novella in my last post, I got a little behind on my posts for the last few days. I've had company in town for the weekend. My oldest friend, Rick, was in town this weekend. We're three weeks a part and his parents are my god parents.

Friday was the day he arrived. After a good day at the office, I picked him up at the airport around 9 and we headed out to eat dinner. We laughed and caught each other up on life and decided we were old after finishing one margarita and feeling too tired for another. We headed home around 11 and called it a night. It was a great feeling to be with him and to know that even after not seeing each other for eight years that we could pick up right where we left off.