So today I did something that I never thought I'd have the guts to do. I quit my job. That's right, Miss L.A. used her writing and speaking skills to sit down with the scary CFO and tell her that this wasn't going to work and that I would be leaving in two short weeks. And then I handed her my lovely written resignation letter. I even negotiated a small severance!
As you likely read in yesterday's post, my life is a little out of sorts at the moment. I've been living out of boxes, broke, sick, stressed, and unhappy at work. And even though I've only been doing my new secretary job for a few days, and people are already starting to talk to me like I'm stupid. People call, and I feel like they instantly assume that I'm an airhead.
So, after the crazy mix of it all, I decided that moving home and starting my life fresh in a new(ish) city would be the best option. I mean, it's not really that new because I lived there growing up, but it's been 11 years since I've lived there and I know that times have changed. I can't wait to see and catch up with my friends. I can't wait to find all the good restaurants, and my favorite hangouts, and just to rediscover my sense of curiosity.
After all the bad of yesterday, I'm finishing today on a high note. I'm ready to take this next step and make sure that my 2010 is the best year I've ever had.
Cheers,
Miss L.A.
Friday, January 29
Thursday, January 28
January 28, 2010: 'Twas a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day
I have to start this post out by talking about someone else's day. Because even though my day wasn't great, my dear, dear friend experienced the worst pain of life, losing a child. Kate and I have been friends for twenty years. She's a person I've looked up to since the 4th grade. She's smart, she's beautiful, she's witty, and she's the sweetest spirit you'll ever meet. She has the most rock solid faith of just about any woman I've ever met. She lost her baby today. The sweet angel was born and lived for two precious hours on this earth. When I got the news my heart just broke. I can't imagine how she and her husband must feel. It's a helpless feeling to see your friend in pain and not be able to do anything to repair it. I've been praying for sweet Kate all day today, and I will hold her and her sweet baby in my heart always.
Needless to say even after I had an awful morning, hearing that news gave me some perspective. I know that all things, no matter how bad they seem can always be worse. And for whatever reason things happen, they do, and you can't let the bad things keep you down. When you're broken, you can't stay broken. You've got to put in some effort to glue the pieces back together.
And so I sit here broken. I'm broken from my relationship that turned into a terrible web of lies. I'm broken from the impending loss of my job. Broken from the fact that all too soon I'll be leaving my city to move back home to be closer to my family. Broken from the fact that I feel like I've lost most of my friends because it seems like bad news follows me around. I hate calling anyone anymore because I just know that they think, Gee, I wonder what else could have happened to her now? Deep down I hope that my real friends don't really feel that way, but my insecurities repeatedly make me feel otherwise. Ultimately, I'm ready to share some good news. Even though I'd say I'm happy, I want to be back to the old me that couldn't ever stop smiling, who always had her glass half full, and who was the ultimate optimist. I miss that version of myself. I haven't seen her in a while and I'm ready to put her back on display and make sure she never leaves again.
So, it's time to pack all the baggage up (literally and figuratively) and get back on that path. I'm ready to see what's around the next bend :)
Ciao,
Miss L.A.
Needless to say even after I had an awful morning, hearing that news gave me some perspective. I know that all things, no matter how bad they seem can always be worse. And for whatever reason things happen, they do, and you can't let the bad things keep you down. When you're broken, you can't stay broken. You've got to put in some effort to glue the pieces back together.
And so I sit here broken. I'm broken from my relationship that turned into a terrible web of lies. I'm broken from the impending loss of my job. Broken from the fact that all too soon I'll be leaving my city to move back home to be closer to my family. Broken from the fact that I feel like I've lost most of my friends because it seems like bad news follows me around. I hate calling anyone anymore because I just know that they think, Gee, I wonder what else could have happened to her now? Deep down I hope that my real friends don't really feel that way, but my insecurities repeatedly make me feel otherwise. Ultimately, I'm ready to share some good news. Even though I'd say I'm happy, I want to be back to the old me that couldn't ever stop smiling, who always had her glass half full, and who was the ultimate optimist. I miss that version of myself. I haven't seen her in a while and I'm ready to put her back on display and make sure she never leaves again.
So, it's time to pack all the baggage up (literally and figuratively) and get back on that path. I'm ready to see what's around the next bend :)
Ciao,
Miss L.A.
Wednesday, January 27
January 27th, 2010: Hot Toddy & Music for the Soul
So my laryngitis is now in full gear. I can't talk, I can't sing, and everyone who talks to me on the phone thinks I'm crying. So, after dealing with this all day, my momma instructed me to make myself a hot toddy for bed. So, I took down my hidden bottle of Jim Beam, some honey, and lemon juice and went to town. I'm sipping it as I type this blog entry. Please excuse any grammatical errors or run on sentences. :)
I finished listening to my new music from yesterday, and I'm on cloud nine. I can't believe that I got two great, yet totally different albums yesterday. The Lady A Need You Now
album is awesome. It's just as good, if not better than the last album. It's so rare to find new artists that can produce solid albums back to back. I can't even decide what track is my favorite, but I know that "When You Got a Good Thing" was really hitting home today. I'm not quite sure why since I don't exactly have a 'good thing' going on with any man in my life, but it's a sweet song. Let's hope once I get all settled in my new town, my new job, and a some new digs, that I can get a good thing!
I'm really ready for bed tonight after a long day at work. I started my new 'job duties' today, and they aren't much fun. I'm grinning and bearing it though. I'd like to go out on a high note. I'm not one to do a half ass job at things, so when someone throws a challenge at me, even if it's just sitting through a remedial task without squirming, I'll take it. So, let's hope tomorrow is a little easier to swallow, literally and figuratively. I'll see if this Hot Toddy is going to work afterall.
Buono Notte,
Miss L.A.
I finished listening to my new music from yesterday, and I'm on cloud nine. I can't believe that I got two great, yet totally different albums yesterday. The Lady A Need You Now
album is awesome. It's just as good, if not better than the last album. It's so rare to find new artists that can produce solid albums back to back. I can't even decide what track is my favorite, but I know that "When You Got a Good Thing" was really hitting home today. I'm not quite sure why since I don't exactly have a 'good thing' going on with any man in my life, but it's a sweet song. Let's hope once I get all settled in my new town, my new job, and a some new digs, that I can get a good thing! I'm really ready for bed tonight after a long day at work. I started my new 'job duties' today, and they aren't much fun. I'm grinning and bearing it though. I'd like to go out on a high note. I'm not one to do a half ass job at things, so when someone throws a challenge at me, even if it's just sitting through a remedial task without squirming, I'll take it. So, let's hope tomorrow is a little easier to swallow, literally and figuratively. I'll see if this Hot Toddy is going to work afterall.
Buono Notte,
Miss L.A.
January 26, 2010: My love for Tuesdays
So even though I've totally lost my voice today, I'm ecstatic. It's New Music Tuesday. While most people have no affinity for Tuesdays, I long for them. I know that each Tuesday, a slew of new albums will be released for my listening pleasure. I can't even begin to describe how much music means in my life. Music has soothed my soul when I've been sad, made me dance when I'm happy, and helped me release stress when I'm angry. It's a constant in my life like nothing else. Most people laugh when they get in my car and see how many CDs I have floating around. (Sadly, my car isn't in the 21st century, and doesn't have an iPod adapter.)
After a long day at work, full of meetings and brainstorming sessions, I raced to the store to purchase two of my anticipated releases. Patty Griffin's Downtown Church
and Lady Antebellum's Need You Now. I was pleasantly surprised to find them both on sale, so I walked out of the store with both albums for less than twenty dollars. Total score!
I'd likely need to write an entire blog entry on Patty Griffin. She is my music icon. I don't like to use the word idol, as I really don't ever want any person to be my idol. I think it's the preacher's kid in me. Yes, I'm a preacher's kid, again, another blog entry. I've been in love with Patty Griffin's music since 1999. That was the first time I heard her sing Let Him Fly. I'd heard the Dixie Chicks' cover of it, and was intrigued to hear the original version. Needless to say I cried when I heard it. And then back in the days of Napster, I found many of Patty's songs online. I fell in love with her. Her music literally opened my soul. She is one of the main reasons I started singing again. I have been singing since I was three years old. My first solo was at age four in church, while standing on a stool to reach the microphone. I sang in every choir imaginable through high school. My childhood music teacher was murdered when I was a freshman in college and that lead me to stop singing for quite some time. I finally began singing again in the fall of 2003 when I performed several songs, including Let Him Fly, at at open mic night after being encouraged by my friends. I haven't stopped singing again since. I've had the pleasure of seeing Patty Griffin in concert many times. I actually got to meet her at my first Patty concert in 2004. It was a moment I'll never forget. I was quite speechless. I'll treasure that photo for the rest of my days. And I got to share it with my BFF and fellow Patty lover, Ally. A few years back, Ally gave me one of the best gifts I've ever received, a portrait of Patty Griffin that she painted inspired by my favorite photo. If my house were burning down, that would be one of the few things I'd grab. It's that special to me and could never be replaced.
Needless to say the new album is incredible. It's a Gospel collection, which happens to be one of my favorite genres of music. Patty's soul creeps into every note, and it resonates. I've listened to the album twice now, and I know that my love for it will continue to grow. I would highly encourage anyone who's never heard of her to check her out. Her music will change your life, it's that good!
That's about all I can write for now. I'll have to get back on the Lady A album in my next post. Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone enjoys the new blog design. I really love how it turned out! Thanks to Penny Lane Designs for all your work. Check out their link at the bottom of the blog.
Cheers,
Miss L.A.
After a long day at work, full of meetings and brainstorming sessions, I raced to the store to purchase two of my anticipated releases. Patty Griffin's Downtown Church
and Lady Antebellum's Need You Now. I was pleasantly surprised to find them both on sale, so I walked out of the store with both albums for less than twenty dollars. Total score! I'd likely need to write an entire blog entry on Patty Griffin. She is my music icon. I don't like to use the word idol, as I really don't ever want any person to be my idol. I think it's the preacher's kid in me. Yes, I'm a preacher's kid, again, another blog entry. I've been in love with Patty Griffin's music since 1999. That was the first time I heard her sing Let Him Fly. I'd heard the Dixie Chicks' cover of it, and was intrigued to hear the original version. Needless to say I cried when I heard it. And then back in the days of Napster, I found many of Patty's songs online. I fell in love with her. Her music literally opened my soul. She is one of the main reasons I started singing again. I have been singing since I was three years old. My first solo was at age four in church, while standing on a stool to reach the microphone. I sang in every choir imaginable through high school. My childhood music teacher was murdered when I was a freshman in college and that lead me to stop singing for quite some time. I finally began singing again in the fall of 2003 when I performed several songs, including Let Him Fly, at at open mic night after being encouraged by my friends. I haven't stopped singing again since. I've had the pleasure of seeing Patty Griffin in concert many times. I actually got to meet her at my first Patty concert in 2004. It was a moment I'll never forget. I was quite speechless. I'll treasure that photo for the rest of my days. And I got to share it with my BFF and fellow Patty lover, Ally. A few years back, Ally gave me one of the best gifts I've ever received, a portrait of Patty Griffin that she painted inspired by my favorite photo. If my house were burning down, that would be one of the few things I'd grab. It's that special to me and could never be replaced.
Needless to say the new album is incredible. It's a Gospel collection, which happens to be one of my favorite genres of music. Patty's soul creeps into every note, and it resonates. I've listened to the album twice now, and I know that my love for it will continue to grow. I would highly encourage anyone who's never heard of her to check her out. Her music will change your life, it's that good!
That's about all I can write for now. I'll have to get back on the Lady A album in my next post. Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone enjoys the new blog design. I really love how it turned out! Thanks to Penny Lane Designs for all your work. Check out their link at the bottom of the blog.
Cheers,
Miss L.A.
Tuesday, January 26
January 25, 2010: An Anniversary & Monstrous Meeting
Today is my parent's 40th wedding anniversary. That's 14,600 days that they have been married. They are still very much in love. Looking at the relationship they have gives me hope that I'll find someone great to share my life with. They met in February of 1969 in college, and got married just 11 months later. I used to imagine having a whirlwind romance like that until what I went through last year with DB. Now I know it will take me quite a bit of time to fully trust and love someone. So happy for my units and glad they had me and my sister. I have an amazing family!
So, my day at work went along smoothly enough until I had the meeting I'd been dreading. It lasted for an hour and a half, and didn't really go as I had hoped. I'm basically being backed into a corner. They are eliminating my current role, and offering me a receptionist job with 'special projects as needed.' In other words, I'm a secretary. I did not spend four years at one of the top universities in my state and nation to become a secretary. I explained to the CFO that I have many talents and abilities that won't be utilized in this position. I asked about room to grow. She dodged around the question, but essentially said that unless our firm grew, that I wouldn't be able to grow. No room for raises, no room for learning new skills, basically no room for any expansion for me as a person. This sounds dreadful to me. I can't imagine doing a monotonous task every day. I'm a person who thrives on challenges. So, she is basically asking me to accept the new "demotion" or to quit. If I quit, I'll be without health insurance and a paycheck.
To make matters worse, my living situation is about to hit the fan. I've been living at a friend's house while she lives with her boyfriend. I pay all the bills, and half of her rent. I didn't move anything in, save my clothes, so I'm essentially house sitting, but being charged. I clean, I water, I take care of the place. I've been living out of a few boxes and a suitcase for the last three months. This arrangement was working out well until my friend, who I'll call Jane, decided that she wants to move back in, and let her boyfriend move in with her. So, I have no place to live in a few weeks. And if I have to keep my job, I'll have no choice but to quit.
I feel like I'm literally between a rock and a hard place. Going to repeat my mantra for the year, "Keep the faith."
Off to sleep and escape from this reality for a few hours.
So, my day at work went along smoothly enough until I had the meeting I'd been dreading. It lasted for an hour and a half, and didn't really go as I had hoped. I'm basically being backed into a corner. They are eliminating my current role, and offering me a receptionist job with 'special projects as needed.' In other words, I'm a secretary. I did not spend four years at one of the top universities in my state and nation to become a secretary. I explained to the CFO that I have many talents and abilities that won't be utilized in this position. I asked about room to grow. She dodged around the question, but essentially said that unless our firm grew, that I wouldn't be able to grow. No room for raises, no room for learning new skills, basically no room for any expansion for me as a person. This sounds dreadful to me. I can't imagine doing a monotonous task every day. I'm a person who thrives on challenges. So, she is basically asking me to accept the new "demotion" or to quit. If I quit, I'll be without health insurance and a paycheck.
To make matters worse, my living situation is about to hit the fan. I've been living at a friend's house while she lives with her boyfriend. I pay all the bills, and half of her rent. I didn't move anything in, save my clothes, so I'm essentially house sitting, but being charged. I clean, I water, I take care of the place. I've been living out of a few boxes and a suitcase for the last three months. This arrangement was working out well until my friend, who I'll call Jane, decided that she wants to move back in, and let her boyfriend move in with her. So, I have no place to live in a few weeks. And if I have to keep my job, I'll have no choice but to quit.
I feel like I'm literally between a rock and a hard place. Going to repeat my mantra for the year, "Keep the faith."
Off to sleep and escape from this reality for a few hours.
Sunday, January 24
January 24, 2010: Back to Reality
So I finally felt like myself again today. It was so great to get up, get ready, and leave the house and actually feel good again. I went to church this morning, and the sermon was on Metamorphosis. I thought the topic was a bit ironic, being that I'd been stuck in the cocoon of my house this week. It was good to see my friends Alex and James at church and we chatted and caught up on life. Alex and I planned on grabbing sushi sometime soon so we can catch up on her wedding plans.
After church I came back home and continued with some of my reading, and watched an episode of Dexter. I'm still trying to catch up on the fourth season, and from what everyone has told me, I'm in a for some big surprises at the end. I refuse to cheat and read any spoilers. I'm excited to see where this season ends.
I ended the day having dinner over at L&G's house. We made some delicious French dishes, including carrot and turnip gratin, complete with Gruyere cheese sauce, and buttered bread crump topping. Delicious. Not a bad meal to introduce my stomach back to real eating. Being that I've survived on soup, ice cream, and gatorade for the last 5 days, I was ready to eat some real food again. L and I drank wine, chatted about work and life, and sipped on hot chocolate for dessert. We decided that I would teach her how to make biscuits next weekend, and have another Sunday dinner. It's a great ritual we have, and I always leave with an armful of leftovers. Yum.
So after a wonderful day of great weather, good company, and delicious food, I'm off to bed to prep for my big meeting tomorrow. Wish me luck!
Ciao,
Miss L.A.
After church I came back home and continued with some of my reading, and watched an episode of Dexter. I'm still trying to catch up on the fourth season, and from what everyone has told me, I'm in a for some big surprises at the end. I refuse to cheat and read any spoilers. I'm excited to see where this season ends.
I ended the day having dinner over at L&G's house. We made some delicious French dishes, including carrot and turnip gratin, complete with Gruyere cheese sauce, and buttered bread crump topping. Delicious. Not a bad meal to introduce my stomach back to real eating. Being that I've survived on soup, ice cream, and gatorade for the last 5 days, I was ready to eat some real food again. L and I drank wine, chatted about work and life, and sipped on hot chocolate for dessert. We decided that I would teach her how to make biscuits next weekend, and have another Sunday dinner. It's a great ritual we have, and I always leave with an armful of leftovers. Yum.
So after a wonderful day of great weather, good company, and delicious food, I'm off to bed to prep for my big meeting tomorrow. Wish me luck!
Ciao,
Miss L.A.
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