Tuesday, January 26

January 25, 2010: An Anniversary & Monstrous Meeting

Today is my parent's 40th wedding anniversary. That's 14,600 days that they have been married. They are still very much in love. Looking at the relationship they have gives me hope that I'll find someone great to share my life with. They met in February of 1969 in college, and got married just 11 months later. I used to imagine having a whirlwind romance like that until what I went through last year with DB. Now I know it will take me quite a bit of time to fully trust and love someone. So happy for my units and glad they had me and my sister. I have an amazing family!

So, my day at work went along smoothly enough until I had the meeting I'd been dreading. It lasted for an hour and a half, and didn't really go as I had hoped. I'm basically being backed into a corner. They are eliminating my current role, and offering me a receptionist job with 'special projects as needed.' In other words, I'm a secretary. I did not spend four years at one of the top universities in my state and nation to become a secretary. I explained to the CFO that I have many talents and abilities that won't be utilized in this position. I asked about room to grow. She dodged around the question, but essentially said that unless our firm grew, that I wouldn't be able to grow. No room for raises, no room for learning new skills, basically no room for any expansion for me as a person. This sounds dreadful to me. I can't imagine doing a monotonous task every day. I'm a person who thrives on challenges. So, she is basically asking me to accept the new "demotion" or to quit. If I quit, I'll be without health insurance and a paycheck.

To make matters worse, my living situation is about to hit the fan. I've been living at a friend's house while she lives with her boyfriend. I pay all the bills, and half of her rent. I didn't move anything in, save my clothes, so I'm essentially house sitting, but being charged. I clean, I water, I take care of the place. I've been living out of a few boxes and a suitcase for the last three months. This arrangement was working out well until my friend, who I'll call Jane, decided that she wants to move back in, and let her boyfriend move in with her. So, I have no place to live in a few weeks. And if I have to keep my job, I'll have no choice but to quit.

I feel like I'm literally between a rock and a hard place. Going to repeat my mantra for the year, "Keep the faith."

Off to sleep and escape from this reality for a few hours.

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