January 1, 2010

Since I wanted to kick the new year off on a high note, I headed out of town to see my best guy friend in a neighboring city for New Year's Eve. I really wanted to spend the last night of 2009 with someone who loves me almost as unconditionally as my mom does, and this man, who I'll call Wes, fits the bill completely.
Wes and I have been friends since the 6th grade. He's charming, handsome, smart, funny, wildly successful, and so eclectic. He's single. But he doesn't date. He'd be gay if he could bring himself to commit to a relationship, but can't, so he just doesn't have any romantic endeavours. He tells me that I'm the only person he'll truly love. I'm his "constant". He wants to marry me, but I find myself asking whether or not I'd be settling.
Wes is my "soulmate" if I even believe in such a thing. We compliment each other perfectly. We challenge each other. We rarely fight, but when we do it's because there is serious passion in our relationship. I'm just not sure if the chemistry would ever work. Sometime I wonder if it would be easier for me to marry Wes. I love him, and he's my best friend, but is that enough? For now, I've just decided to let it go and let things unfold. I know God will give me the answer eventually.
Even with all the uncertainty, we had a truly great evening. We hung out with one of my college friends at a prom-themed party and rung in the year with party hats, confetti, champagne, and, after 10 years of waiting, our very first kiss. (and yes, there were sparks!)
This morning we headed to the Jewish deli for Challah french toast, and bagels with lox. Yum. A great first meal for the year. I watched the Rose Parade, a little football, then headed back to my city. Went to a New Year's Day party in my neighborhood this evening. We ate some amazing potluck of dishes, played washers in the backyard, talked about our resolutions, and planned our next get together. It was so great to be surrounded by so many friends and feel so loved to start the new year. If it plays out like the first 22 hours, I'll be in great shape and be very happy. Here's to positive thinking! Good night.

And so it begins ...

Today is the last day of 2009. I'm closing the first decade of my life that I feel I have real memories of in its entirety. I was 18 years old on December 31, 1999, and a freshman in college. Life has changed quite a bit since then. I sat back and thought about many of those changes, some good, some not so good. I think I had an entirely different outlook on life than I do standing here today. I've changed for the better. I've become an independent woman who doesn't just regurgitate the feelings and beliefs of my family or closest friends. I stand by my mantras and don't apologize for them anymore.

The first year and the last year of this decade have many similarities. Both share big changes and tragedies. Both share a sense of being on the brink of something new and exciting. This year, these changes seem much less nerve wracking than they did back in 1999.

I've decided to write about each day of my year in 2010. I want to be able to look back at this year of changes and embrace each victory and disappointment and gauge how I tackled each one. I don't expect my writing to be profound, or even exciting, but it it a project I feel inspired to complete, and I hope that it will give some people a chance to get to know me a little better. You may start to love me more, or even dislike me a little, but I won't be apologizing to anyone. I'm loud, I'm opinionated, and I'm a twenty-something single woman who is ready to swing my bat at whatever pitch is thrown at me next. So, sit back and feel free to join me on my journey. I'm excited to see what this year holds!