The good, the bad, the ugly

So again I'm writing an apology. I've been awful about writing, but it's because I'm hitting the streets full on for good material, or at least that's what I think. Since moving back in February, I've hit the dating scene full force. I've been a bit discouraged as of late.

I think there are several factors playing into this. First, several of my friends have gone through completely unexpected divorces in the past year. These aren't people you would ever expect to deal with these sort of awful situations. I'm talking cheating, pregnancies with their mistress, lying, leaving out of the blue, stealing wedding rings, AWFUL type stuff. I've watched four spectacular people all get their hearts ripped out by people they love, trusted, and had children with.

Second, I've gone out with some real gems lately. First there was a guy I'll call TF, short for trust fund. He's comes from old family money, and at age 35, has never even purchased his own vehicle. These are facts that came out in month three of our dating relationship. Let's suffice it to say that after he stood me up for a rendezvous with the boys for some less than moral activities, I kicked him to the curb. Then there was Holden. He seemed great. He was smart, witty, well read, sociable, and had so many things in common with me it was eery. After dating for a month and a half, he told me that I was "fantastic, interesting and he couldn't wait to spend his summer with me." That was a month ago, and I haven't heard from his since.

After beating myself up one night with my good friends Cal and Dee over several glasses of wine, they told me that I was a strong woman for continuing to put myself out there in spite of running into obstacles. Cal wisely explained that I am willing to be vulnerable in order to find love. I willingly do this because I know that I am going to have to go through some not so great men before I find someone who is worth all my time, energy, and love. I keep telling myself that going through all the bad apples will be worth it one day.

Some days are harder than others. At times I'm so frustrated by guys that I just want to give up. I'm completely fine being single. My life is awesome. I have a good job, I have great friends, a nice house, and I'm successful and talented. I don't need a man in my life, but I want to share my life with one. I honestly don't feel that God would put a desire in my heart to meet someone and settle down if it wasn't supposed to happen. And so, as I am about to embark on year 29, I'm committed to finding love this year. REAL love. And I hope to entertain all of my readers as I attempt this. Thanks for reading.

Ciao,

Finally off the DL. (That's Disabled List, for you non-baseball fans.)

I can’t believe it’s been SO long since I’ve written. Well, thinking about what all I’ve accomplished since I last wrote on my blog, I guess I can understand. I’ve been a little busy. For once, I’ve been busy for really good reasons. In fact, I’m happier than I’ve been in years, and I’m finally starting to feel settled. It wouldn’t be the fabulous life of Miss L.A. though if there weren’t some interesting twists thrown in along the way, though. So, here are some highlights:


• I got a fantastic new job!

• I moved into a duplex in the neighborhood that I’ve wanted to live in since I was a little girl.

• I’ve made so many wonderful new friends.

• I’ve finally gotten back into a routine with a full social life!

• I lost 15 pounds. (Let’s shoot for even more!)

• I’ve been dating two great gentlemen. (More on that later!)

• I’ve been called on stage for an impromptu performance at a bar, and received a standing ovation.

• I helped my BFF, Alli, pick out her wedding dress.

• I took my first exam in over 8 years, and proved to still have great study skills by making an A! Because I passed, I’m a licensed insurance adjuster.



I’m still getting settled into my new life. The goal is to be completely unpacked and ready for a housewarming/birthday party in July. It’s the last year of my 20s, so I have to make it a good one! Thanks to my great friends, I’m winding down on the painting, and should be able to start decorating the walls and shelves very soon. It’s nice to have a full social calendar as an excuse to take my time. I’ve realized life is just too short to worry about getting completely settled into my place overnight. I’d rather enjoy time with my new friends, dates, and getting back into a solid routine, and take my time getting everything just like I want it. I’ll definitely post some pictures of the new place once it is all decorated. Thanks for reading after all this time. I’ll post tomorrow about the new men in my life. Just to peak your interest, I’ve got a handsome, trust-fund baby on one arm, and intelligent, witty, and adorable on the other. Which will I ever choose?

'Til tomorrow,

March 12 - 24: Rules of Engagement

So I've finally gotten some time to write again. It's well earned, as I think I've gone on more adventures in the last two weeks than I have in years. I celebrated, cried, ached, laughed, smiled, dreamed, wrote, and reflected over the last two weeks.

A few highlights:

• Ally & her fabulous beau, Weston, got engaged! It was a wonderful surprise and such a sweet way to kick off these last two weeks.
• Enjoyed a picnic, complete with perfect 70 degree weather and flip flops.
• Drove 1,400 miles and saw some of my very favorite friends & family.
• Visited Mississippi for the second time in one year. It still feels like home.
• Held the hand of someone I loved while they went through a difficult cancer treatment.
• Ate the most delicious home cooked Southern meal. (And I didn't have to fix it!)
• Saw some of the most beautiful mansions, and then the most poor sections of our nation.
• Nailed two job interviews.
• Won a music audition to become a finalist to sing at a HUGE sporting event.
• Saw Lady Antebellum in concert.
• Went to the rodeo, and saw way too many cute cowboys.
• Kissed a man I love.
• Felt lonely for the first time in several months.
• Watched a wonderful woman bury her husband of over 60 years.

Like I said, it was a busy two weeks. Those were just the highlights. There were many conversations, long stretches of belting out songs in the car, sleeping on couches, and packing and unpacking in the midst of it all. I sit here tonight, about to embark on a new chapter. I am finally about to get a new job. I'll be moving into a new place, and putting down roots. I'm happy, but I've been missing my friends lately. I like living here, but there are times when I still feel like my heart might be somewhere else. I've been trying really hard to be patient and wait to see what happens. I may be on the brink of something fantastic. My band might come together soon, and I might be able to start making a living with my singing, or maybe I'm about to meet the man of my dreams.

I know that lately men have frustrated me to my wit's end. Paul, Wes, Pete, Blue, & James. They ALL boggle my mind. I feel like I've entered a period where men just think SO hard about what they want that they just sit around and wait for it to come to them. Chivalry may be dead. I'm the woman, but we're in an age where women can be equal to men in work & life. But in dating, men are still supposed to be the pursuers. I want to be chased. I want to be wanted. I feel like that's a lost art on men today. They've forgotten how to be gentlemen. What happened to phone calls, and letters. It's text messages and emails, and rescheduling via iPhone calendars. I'm a modern woman, but desire a man who will pick me up, bring me flowers, and tell me how nice I look. Especially when I spent 2 hours getting ready. Alas, I digress.

All that being said, I'm ready for 2010 to be my year. I'm long overdue for some really fantastic things to happen. My four best ladies are all embarking on exciting journeys this year, and I'd like to join the pack. If I have to take life by the horns, so be it. I'm ready. I'm forewarning you all. I might not be the "nice" Miss L.A. along the way. I may have to get a little dirty and play hard to get. It might be the best life tactic that I've practiced yet. So, let the race begin.

Ciao,

March 1 - 11, 2010: Missing in Action

I've been a bad blogger lately. It's just been so hard for me to find any time to sit down in a quiet place a write. By the time I have a few minutes, I'm exhausted. Life has been really great though. I spent lots of time cooking and cleaning for my family. Applied for several cool jobs, and had a few calls and interviews, I went back to my old hometown to see friends, and I am in the process of interviewing/auditioning people for the band I'm forming. Not too shabby on my time management. I've gotten time to relax, and focus on what I really want out of life. I got to spend some really great time with Michelle, my oldest BFF, and it was so great to see her in full mom mode, and just how much she sacrifices for her husband, baby, and baby-on-the-way. Because of her and everyone in my life, I think my perspectives have changed a bit in the last month.

I am finally realizing how much I care about the people in my life, and how I really want music to be the thing that I give back to this world. I don't think I've ever given myself enough time to explore my talents, and I've realized that life is too short to not do what you love and were born to do. I've also realized that I would really love to be a wife and mother. I'm not sure if either of those are in the cards for me, but I at least hope a successful relationship with a wonderful man can be fit in somewhere down the road. If there is no baby, I can live vicariously through those around me :)

This weekend I'm going on a mini road trip to see some of my favorite people. Ally, Wes, and a few others sprinkled in between. I'm going to hear great music, eat good food, see amazing art, and mingle with new people. I know it will be good to get away for a few days and feel like a normal single lady again. The house mom thing can make me feel a little old at times!

So, for now I'm signing off. I promise to write another entry when I return. Thanks to everyone who reads about my life. I know that it should get more interesting again soon!

~ Miss L.A.

February 27-28: Family fun, culinary creations, and art nouveau

What a great weekend! I spent some much needed time with my nephews A&J, I whipped up some delicious food and sweets, visited a new church, saw some great art, and had a quasi-date. And that's just the icing on the cake.

Friday I spent the evening at home with my nephews and made some dinner for my family. After watching A&J dance around the kitchen and make me giggle myself silly, I went to bed after a mini Criminal Minds marathon.

Saturday I woke up to A&J poking their heads in every 30 minutes until I begrudgingly got out of bed. I made breakfast while they played outside. My mom woke me right up by suggesting we go shopping. What a whirlwhind. We shopped til we dropped! We snagged $1k in clothes for a little over $300. Bargain shopper extraordinaires. I got some great new staples for my wardrobe and it was a welcome treat since most of my clothes are in storage. After shopping, I went to the grocery to round out some purchases for cooking, and headed home to hang with A&J. I watched bike races, Play Station games, wrestling, bath wars, and general ruckus. I made them their favorites for dinner, then we made brownies for sundaes for dessert. Cooking with boys is a whole different ballgame than with girls. They turn everything into a dirty joke, and they like to smear batter wherever possible. Somehow I don't think differs much from grown men. :) Sundaes were almost spoiled when J accidentally kicked A's tooth out. Thankfully it was a lose baby tooth, but the blood gushing didn't set well either way. A little ice cream solves ALL problems though! I later carried two very tired boys to bed, and got to turn in early. A successful babysitting event, even with the blood.

Sunday I got up and ventured to a new church. A friend from high school, James, invited me to join him, as he sings in their fantastic choir. I was blown away by how much talent was in this place. They happened to be having their annual art show (at a church, no less), so I was treated to some amazing pieces. Some of this stuff was good enough to be in a museum. And the kids were all talented, too. It was really neat to see a church showcasing people's creative side. The music was incredible as well. A full orchestra, and a very strong choir. Probably the best church choir I'd ever heard. I think he wants me to join, and after a few more visits, I may be hooked. After church, James took me to lunch. We went to this amazing soul food restaurant, complete with live jazz. It was such great food, music, and fun atmosphere. We had a blast chatting and hanging out. I felt like I was on a great first date. I'm still not quite sure what it was exactly. I think the jury is still out on this one. I just hope there is a date number two. I don't think I've enjoyed a man's company that much in a long time. The time flew by, and I felt myself smiling and at ease. The best manners I've seen in ages.

After a late afternoon with James, I finally headed home and watched a movie with my family. I haven't been able to do that in years. It was so good for all of us to be together. After the movie I headed to Ralph's soccer game, and hung out with his boys and his friend Lauren. I have no idea if Ralph reads my blog, but in case he does, he needs to know that he needs to date Lauren. She's fantastic, and they would make a great couple. I had a fantastic time chatting with her, and I really hope we become friends. She's super pretty, stylish, smart, and just fun to be around. The kind of single gal that I need to be friends with in my new city. So, after freezing at another soccer game, I came home, had a nice cup of hot chocolate and am going to bed. What a great weekend. I hope that there are many more of these in 2010.

Buono Notte,

Miss L.A.

February 20-26, 2010: The best is yet to come!

So I'm going to have to cheat again and write about my last week. It's crazy how little time I have to write these day with job searching, meeting up with old friends, carpooling, cooking, errands, etc. Suffice it to say it's been a fantastic week. Highlights include:

• Getting offered a gig to perform at a theater in my hometown. A paid singing gig at last!
• Receiving a call about a fantastic job at a non-profit to work in publishing again!
• Cooking dinner with my nephews.
• Meeting several great women who live in my area.
• Finding and applying for several jobs that I'm very excited about.
• Seeing my mom and sister everyday.
• Hanging out with my college roommate, Leigh, and getting to laugh like old times again.
• Eating at my favorite pizza place with Ralph and other friends.
• Singing more than I have in years.
• Working on getting my set list together for music gigs.
• Getting in touch with so many old friends via Facebook and other networking.
• Being excited about waking up every morning to a new adventure.
• Talking to Paul on the phone and really investing in our relationship.

Overall, this week has been fantastic. I've had a bit of a head cold, but it's been so great to feel like things are really coming together. I'm so excited to see what is going to happen in my life over the next few months. So far 2010 is shaping up to be the best year of my life. Yay!

Ciao,

Miss L.A.

February 20, 2010: out with the old...

So I had to get up very early for a baby shower this morning. One of my college roommates is having her first baby in April, and I had to be there at 10 AM. After going to bed a 3, this came very early. I made it, and had a great time. I got to see so many of my girlfriends from high school, and their moms too. Everyone was really excited to know I had moved back home, and are excited about getting together. As much as I always feel at home, it's a little awkward for me when I'm surrounded by all these fabulous ladies, and I'm always sort of odd man out. All my girlfriends from high school are married, and most have at least one child. It's like I don't really belong to the club. No one wants an opinion about babies from a lady who doesn't have kids. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy where I am in my life. I could have settled and gotten married and had a baby by now. Not to say that any of these ladies did that. They all have really great men in their lives. I just know that I haven't met that guy just yet. Or maybe I have and I just don't know it :)

After the shower, I headed back to Ralph's to get the packing and moving finished up. When I got there, I immediately remembered why I never want to live on a 2nd story when moving. I got in a lot of cardio with running up and down the stairs so many times. After 5 hours of running around, we finally got everything into the new place. I couldn't believe how tired I was. It took an energy drink, some dinner, and several sodas to get me going. I had to get pumped up because I was meeting an old flame, Blue, out for the evening. I met Blue through my sister's former boyfriend. Blue is nothing like any man I've ever been attracted to. But he is so incredibly sexy. He's older than me, very tall, extremely built, has beautiful eyes, great small, good jaw line, looks amazing in a pair of jeans. He rides a Harley, and his hair is as long as mine. He's a musician, and shares a love of country and the blues with me. He dances, he listens, and he's got an edge to him that makes him a little off limits. I never thought a man like Blue would ever be interested in me, but when we kissed for the first time last year, I was a goner.

I met Blue up at his usual bar. It was karaoke night, and most of the regulars were in attendance. I got to see so many of my sister's old friends, and it was great to catch up. Sis doesn't frequent there much anymore, as this is where she met her boyfriend who tragically passed away last year from a bike accident. These guys all still ask about her though. As much fun as I had, it wasn't the same without her there. Blue and I had a few drinks, caught up on life, and danced a little. Everytime he touched me I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Something about this man just drives me absolutely crazy. He finally convinced me to sing, and I got a big rouse out of the crowd. When I got off stage, he was there waiting to give me a hug. And then he asked me if I wanted to form a band with him. My dream come true. He's got all the musicians we need, and we have a place to practice. As scary as this is to me, it's also what I've wanted all along. And so after a night of hanging out with my old friends, Blue and I made plans to get together this week and have a little jam session. I secretly can't wait to see him again. When he got up on stage and played his harmonica, I thought I might cry. I am blow away by his talent. I'm just so honored that he thinks that I'm talented enough to perform in a band with him. As much as I know that I'm good, when someone that you admire offers a compliment, it's the best feeling in the world.

I'm excited to see what happens with his man. He pushed me completely out of my comfort zone, and that's exactly what I need.